Every Christmas Story Ever Told

I have a guilty secret. A critic reviews many Christmas-themed shows at this time of year, but I have to admit that my favorite is “Every Christmas Story Ever Told (and then some),” the holiday offering at Capital Stage again this year.

I first saw this show — written by Michael Carleton, Jim Fitzgerald and Gary Alvarez, and directed this year by Jonathan Williams — in 2004 and thought it hilarious then. The appeal has not diminished over the years.

While this is an intelligent, funny show in its own right, what makes it work is the strong cast of three, who must each sweat off a few pounds during every performance.

Eric Wheeler, as Eric, is determined to present a straight version of “A Christmas Carol” but runs into opposition from his two partners, Peter Mohrmann and Gary Martinez, who are tired of repeating the Dickens story every year and want to pay tribute to all those other BHCs (Beloved Holiday Classics) of screen, TV and print. Eric agrees, just as long as “A Christmas Carol” is included.

And off they go.

The trio elicits suggestions from the audience for favorite movies, television programs, Christmas foods, traditions, commercials, etc. It doesn’t stop at Christmas, but also gives a nod to Hanukkah (“It bears similarities to other Jewish festivals: They tried to kill us. We survived. Let’s eat!”) and Kwanzaa (“The best part of Kwanzaa is that you’ll never see a special called ‘A Very Brady Kwanzaa.’ “)

But the meat of the show is the retelling of all the stories we all know so well.

Wheeler is reluctantly dragged into the project when he is dressed as The Grinch for a very funny send-up of “How the Grinch Stole Christmas.” Later, he will shine in such roles as Hermie, the elf who wants to be a dentist from “Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer” (hilariously renamed, for copyright reasons) and makes a fabulous Scotsman.

A wonderful impersonator, Wheeler’s Scrooge (so perfect in voice and body language as The Simpsons’ Mr. Smithers), Tim Gunn from “Project Runway,” and Jimmy Stewart from “It’s A Wonderful Life” are spot-on.

Mohrmann as the Ghosts of Past, Present and Future, his wonderful recreation of host Jim Lange on the fruitcake version of “The Dating Game,” his funny Yukon Cornelius from “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer,” and even his attempt at being supermodel Heidi Klum are all great fun (and he is particularly fetching in his Carmen Miranda headpiece in the opening segments).

Mohrmann also shares with the audience Christmas customs from around the world, such as the story of Holland’s “Sinterklaass,” who arrives on a steamer from Spain with his helper, a twisted dark gnome known as “Black Peter” who punishes bad children. Just to put the “joy” in Christmas, you know.

And each year, I try to find a different way to say how much I love Martinez’s characterizations but keep coming back to the fact that he is the heart of this show. Zaniness abounds throughout, but when Martinez steps into the spotlight as Linus and tells us the true meaning of Christmas, or becomes Cindy-Lou Who asking the Grinch why he is taking her Christmas tree, or talks to George Bailey (from “It’s a Wonderful Life”) as Clarence Goodbody, the angel trying to get his wings, there is no denying that he reminds us what Christmas should be about.

The script for this show is usually updated, this year adding a line about pepper spray, which didn’t get quite the big laugh they’d hoped. (“Too soon?” asks Mohrmann.)

The show is so fast-paced as to leave you breathless, whether from the pace, or from laughing. It’s a wonderful way to see all of your own personal favorite BHCs in one place for one price.

Scenic design this year is by Jonathan Williams, and if I am remembering correctly from previous productions, is not as lavish as before, but with the larger area of the new Cap Stage theater, the cast is able to interact with the audience more, and that is more fun.

Do yourself a favor and treat yourself and your family to this show. It is an absolute delight, whose enjoyment does not diminish with multiple viewings. As you leave the Capital Stage theater, you’ll be ready for the Christmas season and may go about greeting everyone with a cheery “Mata-Ki-Te-Rangi” (“Merry Christmas” in Icelandic).

Every Christmas Story Ever Told

Capital Stage has brought back its delightful holiday gift, “Every Christmas Story Ever Told (and then some),” written by Michael Carleton, James Fitzgerald and John K. Alvarez and directed by Jonathan Williams. The show opened on Sunday at the Delta King Theater in Old Sacramento.

This year’s cast adds Artistic Associate Peter Mohrmann to the veterans, Eric Wheeler and Gary S. Martinez (conveniently playing characters named Eric, Gary and Peter). The trio work beautifully and Mohrmann adds a delightful touch to the cast.

This year’s incarnation adds topical material such as Sarah Palin, Lindsay Lohan, and our Governator and it gives Wheeler a chance to do spot-on vocal impressions of Ray Romano and Tim Gunn.

(While these names may not immediately say “Christmas” to you, be assured that in context, they do.)

This 1-1/2 hour piece begins on a serious note, with Eric determined to read Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol,” only to face revolt by his cast, who are tired of doing the Christmas classic and want to pay homage to all of the other familiar Christmas shows and customs. Eric finally relents, on the condition that he also be allowed to perform the straight version of “A Christmas Carol” too.

Lights come up and the audience is called upon to shout out their favorite Christmas “thing,” whether carol, story, movie, or TV movie. It doesn’t stop at Christmas, but also gives a nod to Chanukah ("It bears similarities to other Jewish festivals: They tried to kill us. We survived. Let's eat!") and Kwanza ("The best part of Kwanza is that you'll never see a special called 'A Very Brady Kwanza'.")

Then the zaniness begins. From Gary’s favorite commercial, Santa Riding in on a Norelco shaver, to Eric as a reluctant, but hilarious Grinch, the trio begin to work their way through as many BHCs (Beloved Holiday Classics) as they can.

While two cast members are off stage getting ready for the next bit, the remaining one is standing on stage reading facts off of 3x5 cards about Christmas traditions around the world, such as the story of Holland’s “Sinterklaass,” who arrives on a steamer from Spain with his helper, a twisted dark gnome known as “Black Peter” who punishes bad children. (The writers seem to have looked for the darkest holiday traditions they could find.)

Wheeler gets a chance to display his comic expertise as such characters as the Grinch and Hermey, the elf who wants to be a dentist in “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer,” a show which is nearly not included for, we are told, copyright reasons. To get around the problem Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer becomes Gustov the Green-Nosed Reingoat.

In act 2, Wheeler gives us another spot-on vocal imitation as Jimmy Stewart in makes a terrific “It’s a Wonderful Life,” and a hilarious Mr. Smithers (from “the Simpsons”) Scrooge in “A Christmas Carol.”

Mohrmann is particularly fetching, looking more like Carmen Miranda than the Ghost of Christmas Present and also is very funny as a Jim Lang-type host of the fruitcake version of “The Dating Game.”

I have now seen Gary S. Martinez in this show three times and I’m still in love with his character. He can be very funny and lovable, and he wins my heart each year when he stands there, as Linus, reciting “The True Meaning of Christmas.” It seems that each year I say that he’s the “heart” of this play–but he really is.

Just when you think the play is over, the cast realizes that they have left out Christmas music and give a dizzying rendition of Every Christmas Carol Ever Sung.

I promise you will leave this theater with a sprig of holly in your heart and a “Mata-Ki-Te-Rangi” (“Merry Christmas” in Icelandic) on your lips.

Every Xmas Story Ever Told

We've seen the news reports; we've felt it in our pocketbooks.

There's no denying it: Economic times are tough. People are scaling back on all sorts of things, and seeing fewer Christmas theatrical productions may be one of the cost-cutting measures being considered.

Well, Capital Stage has come up with a solution. Why agonize over which productions to see ... when you can see all of them at once?

'Every Christmas Story Ever Told' is a hilarious show that covers everything from 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas' to Charles Dickens' beloved 'A Christmas Carol,' with some surprising other stories in between.

This fast-paced show is written by Michael Carleton, John Alvarez and Jim Fitzgerald, with original music by Will Knapp. This production, directed by Greg Alexander, stars a delightful trio of weirdoes - Anthony D'Juan, Gary Martinez and Jonathan Williams - who play (oddly enough) Anthony, Gary and Jonathan.

In the same vein as the 'reduced Shakespeare' productions, the authors have taken just about every beloved holiday story in existence, added a bit of Christmas history from around the world - who knew that Christmas had such a black side? - and a few familiar classic Christmas commercials, and blended everything more or less seamlessly into about 90 minutes of laughter.


The play concludes with a zany rendition of every Christmas carol ever sung, complete with choreography. Sort of.

As far as the play's plot is concerned, Jonathan wants to put on a traditional version of Dickens' 'A Christmas Carol,' the way it was written; he tries valiantly to do so, but his fellow actors are tired of doing only Dickens. They want to salute all the other 'BHCs' (beloved holiday classics) instead.

Jonathan finally relents, on the condition that he also be allowed to perform a straight version of 'A Christmas Carol.'

The trio elicits suggestions from the audience for favorite movies, television programs, Christmas foods, traditions, commercials and so forth. It doesn't stop at Christmas, but also gives a nod to Hanukkah ('It bears similarities to other Jewish festivals: They tried to kill us. We survived. Let's eat!') and Kwanzaa ('The best part of Kwanzaa is that you'll never see a special called 'A Very Brady Kwanzaa.' ')

The meat of this show, though, is its retelling of all the stories we know so well.

Jonathan is reluctantly dragged into the project when he dresses as the title character for a very funny send-up of 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas.' He's also a fabulous Scotsman and shines as Hermie, the elf who wants to be a dentist in 'Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer' (hilariously renamed, for copyright reasons).

In Act 2, Williams does a credible James Stewart imitation in a salute to 'It's a Wonderful Life.'

Zany D'Juan is hilarious, whether donning antlers and a shiny nose, or saying nothing at all - eloquently - as the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come. Memories of his performance will keep you giggling throughout the holiday season.

As for Martinez, well, you just want to wrap him up and take him home. He plays all the lovable characters to the hilt, with the sincerity that he gives Linus reciting 'The True Meaning of Christmas.' You can't leave the theater after seeing his performance without Christmas in your heart.

Of course, Christmas wouldn't be Christmas without fruitcake, and the trio gives salute with 'What the Hell's the Deal with Fruitcake,' which includes a salute to 'The Dating Game' ... 'where we learn all the latest facts and figures on that fruitiest and nuttiest of cakes.'

Nearly every well-known Christmas show is covered during the 60-minute first act, even if only through bad puns or passing comments.

Act 2, only 20 minutes long, is designed to be Jonathan's promised 'A Christmas Carol' ... until Gary realizes they've forgotten 'It's a Wonderful Life.' Until you see these two classics woven together, you may not realize how much alike they are.

Williams has designed a clever, utilitarian set that folds and unfolds. Rebecca Redmond is credited with costume design, and some of the quick changes are quite ingenious. Steve Decker's lighting design and Brad Thompson's sound design also are critical to the play's effectiveness.

And as you leave the Capital Stage theater, you'll definitely be ready for the holiday season ... and you'll likely go about greeting everyone with a cheery 'Mata-Ki-Te-Rangi' ('Merry Christmas,' in Icelandic).

Every Christmas Story Ever Told

If you’re trying to decide which of this season’s holiday theatrical offerings to attend, why not just see them all at one sitting?

Capital Stage Company is presenting “Every Christmas Story Ever Told!!” by Michael Carleton, John Alvarez and Jim Fitzgerald with original music by Will Knapp, directed by Greg Alexander. It is, in a nutshell, hilarious.

A man sitting behind me told his companions that he had seen the play the year before but had laughed so much that he didn’t remember a lot of it, so had returned to see it again. That pretty much sums it up.

In the same vein as the “reduced Shakespeare” productions, the authors have taken just about every beloved holiday story ever told, added a bit of Christmas history from around the world (who knew that Christmas had such a black side?) and a few familiar classic Christmas commercials, and blended them all more or less seamlessly into about an hour and a half of laughter. The play ends with a zany rendition of every Christmas carol ever sung, complete with choreography. Sort of.

Of course, the thing that makes all this zaniness work is three incredible actors, Eric Wheeler, Gary S. Martinez, and Anthony D’Juan, playing, conveniently “Eric,” “Gary,” and “Anthony.”

Eric is the one who wants to put on a traditional version of Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol” the way it was written and who tries valiantly to do so, though his fellow actors are tired of doing only Dickens and want to salute all the other “B.H.C.s” (beloved holiday classics) instead. Eric finally relents, on the condition that he also be allowed to perform the straight version of “A Christmas Carol” too.

The trio elicits suggestions from the audience for favorite movies, television programs, Christmas foods, traditions, commercials, etc. It doesn’t stop at Christmas, but also gives a nod to Chanukah ("It bears similarities to other Jewish festivals: They tried to kill us. We survived. Let's eat!") and Kwanzaa ("The best part of Kwanzaa is that you'll never see a special called 'A Very Brady Kwanzaa'.")

But the meat of the show is the retelling of all the stories you know so well.

Wheeler gets a chance to display his comic expertise as such characters as the Grinch, Hermey (the elf who wants to be a dentist in “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”) and, in act 2, makes a terrific Scrooge/George Baily in a salute to “A Christmas Carol” and “It’s a Wonderful Life.”

D’Juan is hilarious in all of his roles, but especially as the Ghost of Christmas Future, where he does an unbelievable charade.

Martinez is loveable in a “cowardly lion” sort of way, a big man with the gentleness and simplicity of a child, bringing all the heart-tugging moments. He gives a beautiful rendition of Linus’ “True Meaning of Christmas” from “A Charlie Brown Christmas,” and he plays nearly all the characters (except George Bailey) from “It’s a Wonderful Life.” In the midst of all the frenzy on stage, Martinez becomes the heart of the season.

They nearly don’t do “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” because of copyright infringement problems, but decide it’s OK if the hero becomes Gustav the Green-nosed Reingoat,

A section on fruitcake gives an opportunity to revisit the set of the old “Dating Game” and there are salutes to Christmas in Australia and in W(h)ales. Over the course of the 60 minute first act, nearly every well known Christmas show is covered, even if it is only in bad puns or passing comments.

During the 15 minute intermission, the audience is invited to participate in another BHC tradition – buying stuff (candy, drinks, subscriptions to the rest of this year’s season, etc.)

Act two is only twenty minutes long and is designed to be the Eric’s promised “A Christmas Carol” until Gary realizes that they have forgotten “It’s a Wonderful Life.” Not until you have seen these two shows interwoven do you realize how much alike the two classics are. (Wheeler also does a pretty good Jimmy Stewart impression.)

Jonathan Williams has designed a clever utilitarian set that folds and unfolds. Rebecca Redmond is credited with costume design–and some of those quick changes are quite ingenious. The lighting design of Steve Decker and sound design of Brad Thompson are also critical to the effectiveness of this play.

Save yourself a bit of extra time for holiday shopping by getting your fix of BHCs in one spot. “Every Christmas Story Ever Told!!” is an absolute delight. Evening start times for this show only are 7 p.m., so the kids can enjoy it as well.